Rachel Simmons’ work provides a lot of the backbone of what we do at GALS 6-12
Rosalind Wiseman is a Boulder based writer and researcher whose work also informs our material at GALS and BOYS – check out Cultures of Dignity here
Also check out When Your Child’s Friend Is in Crisis, for advice on how to respond when you learn of a crisis, remembering to credit your child for the strength of their relationships and the support they’ve offered to date, and suggestions for how to move forward together.
This article by Lisa Damour, Why Your Grumpy Teen Doesn’t Want to Talk to You, reminds us of some important guidelines for conversations with our kids.
*Good kids do dumb things
*We never have the whole story
*Be sure you can respond with patience and compassion: kids won’t talk if they think we’ll say “I told you so”.
*Kids fear negative consequences, so take your time and remind kids that the sooner it’s addressed the smaller consequences are likely to be.
*Be clear with your kids about about which safety issues must be shared with other adults (other parents, counselors, school administrators) and which kinds of issues can remain confidential.
*Tender support of our kids does not always include discussing the problem. We can model self care and remind our kids which activities tend to help shift their mood. These may range from expressive (art or movement), calming (a warm bath, cup of tea or gengle music), connecting with something bigger than ourselves (a walk outdoors, contact with an elder, prayer or meditation), to playful (time with a pet, a younger sibling, throwing a ball around or playing a game of cards)…and much more.
Lisa Damour, PhD, Untangled: Guiding Teenage Girls Through the Seven Transitions into Adulthood
JoAnn Deak, PhD, with Teresa Barker, Girls will be Girls: Raising Confident and Courageous Daughters
Michael Gurian, The Wonder of Boys, Saving our Sons and Boys and Girls Learn Differently
Rachel Simmons, Odd Girl Out , The Curse of the Good Girl and Enough As She Is
Laurence Steinberg, PhD, The Age of Opportunity: Lessons from the New Science of Adolescence
Rosalind Wiseman, Master Minds and Wingmen and Queen Bees and Wannabees
Nancy Jo Sales, American Girls; Social Media and the Secret Lives of Teenagers
Daniel J. Siegel, Brainstorm: The Power and Purpose of the Teenage Brain